I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spied some land
I yelled for Captain Arab
I have yuh understand
C
Who came running to the deck
Said, “Boys, forget the whale
G
Look on over yonder
Cut the engine, change the sail
D
Haul on the bowline”
We sang that melody
G
Like all tough sailors do
When they are far away at sea
G C/G G
“I think I’ll call it America”
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down, I could not stand
C
Captain Arab he started
Writing up some deeds
G
He said, “Let’s set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads”
D
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
G
He throw us all in jail
For carryin’ harpoons
G C/G G
Ah me I busted out
Don’t even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
C
Who directed me down
To the Bowery slums
G
Where people carried signs around
Saying, “Ban the bums”
D
I jumped right into line
Sayin’, “I hope that I’m not late”
G
When I realized I hadn’t eaten
For five days straight
G C/G G
I went into a restaurant
Lookin’ for the cook
I told them I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
C
The waiter he was handsome
He wore a powder blue cape
G
I ordered some suzette, I said
“Could you please make that crepe”
D
Just then the whole kitchen exploded
From boilin’ fat
G
Food was flying everywhere
And I left without my hat
G C/G G
Now, I didn’t mean to be nosy
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Arab
And all the boys back in the tank
C
They asked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
G
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
D
Who invited me to her house
I went, but she had a friend
G
Who knocked me out and robbed my boots
And I was on the street again
G C/G G
Well, I rapped upon a house
With the U.S. flag upon display
I said, “Could you help me out
I got some friends down the way”
C
The man says, “Get out of here
I’ll tear you limb from limb”
G
I said, “You know they refused Jesus, too”
He said, “You’re not Him
D
Get out of here before I break your bones
I ain’t your pop”
G
I decided to have him arrested
And I went looking for a cop
G C/G G
I ran right outside
And I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
This Englishman said, “Fab”
C
As he saw me leap a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
G
Parked across from a building
Advertising brotherhood
D
I ran right through the front door
Like a hobo sailor does
G
But it was just a funeral parlor
And the man asked me who I was
G C/G G
I repeated that my friends
Were all in jail, with a sigh
He gave me his card
He said, “Call me if they die”
C
I shook his hand and said goodbye
Ran out to the street
G
When a bowling ball came down the road
And knocked me off my feet
D
A pay phone was ringing
It just about blew my mind
G
When I picked it up and said hello
This foot came through the line
G C/G G
Well,by this time I was fed up
At tryin’ to make a stab
At bringin’ back any help
For my friends and Captain Arab
C
I decided to nip a coin
Like either heads or tails
G
Would let me know if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
D
So I hocked my sailor suit
And I got a coin to flip
G
It came up tails it rhymed with sails
So I made it back to the ship
G C/G G
Well, I got back and took
The parkin’ ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreds
When this coastguard boat went past
C
They asked me my name
And I said, “Captain Kidd”
G
They believed me but
They wanted to know
What exactly that I did
D
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
G
They let me go right away
They were very paranoid
G C/G G
Well, the last I heard of Arab
He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy
Sheriff of the jail
C
But the funniest thing was
When I was leavin’ the bay
G
I saw three ships a-sailin’
They were all heading my way
D
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn’t drive a truck
G
He said his name was Columbus
I just said, “Good luck.”
